facebook love leads to breakdown

i did it. i deleted my facebook. well, technically, i deactivated it (meaning i am free to reactivate it whenever i so choose and all my facebook friends will be so happy, i am sure..). i realized that while yes facebook is good for staying in touch and being connected, it does not serve me well. it has interrupted far too many times and has become so much apart of my routine that it was like eating and breathing. last week we didn't have working internet one night and i remember being really upset. on the other hand i was really upset by the fact that it was bothering me to not be able to stay connected to all of you as easily as i could before. all of my roommates felt the same, so i did not feel out of place or whatever. it is so easy to sign on that thing and stay on for hours and not even really realize it, and yet you have no idea how fast these past two days without facebook has gone. just now i was on my bed half writing a paper/half watching various shows/half playing some games on my phone. whatever i guess it makes it third,third,third. i seriously feel like i blinked and three hours went by. i can focus like whoa now and i seriously think this is the genius idea of 2010. i have realized that i don't need to be on facebook to stay connected, necessarily..i have their numbers, they have mine. if these are actual relationships, and since nothing is really connected between facebook friends and people i want to hang out with, i see it as a no-brainer (if you will). not only am i more focused, my spirits are better oddly enough and i no longer feel like i have all these attachments. sometimes so many opportunities and options are presented via the book and it makes me nauseous to think about it. i signed in for the last time sometime yesterday morning and read some statuses and realized how ego-driven this whole thing is sometimes, and i am guilty of it as well, definitley, definitley. but it's hard not to seem that way when you have a page dedicated to yourself. putting yourself out there in the wide world web and "representing" yourself. things seem simpler now though. i assume i will reactivate it at some point, but then again maybe i won't. regardless of what happens i know that when it does happen, i will have a better grip on it and not waste my time or get too into it. plus i'm a college student, i can't handle this shit I NEED TO STUDY. and seriously, readers, deactivate (or delete) your facebook. see what happens. school doesn't seem so impossible now.

ding a ling ching wing

school is about to commence and today i have accomplished something that i can check off my to-do list for as long as i am living in iowa city. i worked out at iowa city fitness and was in the room that has the window viewing. it's not as cool once you're actually up there. anyways, glad i got that one out of the way.
all i want to do is get a pitcher and drink at the mill right now. not alone, of course.
i had a badbadbad experience with a certain substance this past month and it has taken a toll on me and has become a bit ridiculous. chill out cristin. you aren't going to die. settle down. okay, that was me settling myself down. you will live. stop being anxious.
okay
it feels good to type this stuff out though. it was really really horrible. but i don't have to freak out about it when i'm not even doing it, dang. ridiculous.
i wanted sushi today but got a veggie burger instead. sushi kicchen was closed (whatever). veggie burger was good but 3 dollars more expensive. worth it? no but it was good.
i was watching/listening to my roomies play call of duty today. i could hear other random people's voices playing in other parts of this country/world and there was this guy that was freaking out and he kept saying "oh my goooooood." it was weird and slightly annoying.
i wonder if it's possible for feet to break.
done.

oh sunday sunday sunday

just going to say that i had a really good new years. started off at my place with kirsten, kickin back on the couch having interesting conversations over a couple blue moons. we surprised ourselves and found out that we could do the splits! what an accomplishment. basically the rest of the night consisted of much dancing to be followed by even more dancing, ending the night at my friend's house where he fed us food, without us even asking! i was sore, tired, but totally satisfied and went to bed at like 4:45 am or something? i don't know but all i'm saying is it beats any new years by a landslide. today i had a dream within my dream within my dream that i had fallen asleep eating chocolate, woke up (still dreaming) and started eating it. because, well, it is me and if you know me, you know that i like to lick plates (with my fingers, sheesh) and eat random remnants of things. anyhow and so then i "woke up" from that and was walking around my house thinking how weird this all was. i really thought i was awake. and then i actually woke up and that was weird. my weird dreams always happen after breakfast, sometimes i take like an hour 1/2 nap if i can. not so much during typical sleeping hours.